


Let Me Carry Your Burden

by Zayroen



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bottom!Bull, Cole Being Cole, M/M, Ropes and the like, gearing up for smut, roleplaying, so much fucking smut, top!dorian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2018-02-15
Packaged: 2018-04-10 06:56:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4381799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zayroen/pseuds/Zayroen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Iron Bull was a gracious lover. Very focused on his lovers pleasure and what they needed, leaving the choices of what they did or didn't do in their hands and everyone knew this. It had taken Dorian a long time to come to the realization that the qunari never asked for anything purely for himself inside the bedroom. Oh sure there were common acts, a hand or a mouth. Suggestions of silk ties and smooth ropes but all these were things done to his partner and not himself.</p><p> </p><p>That's when he started watching.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Just a Hint

The Iron Bull was a gracious lover. Very focused on his lovers pleasure and what they needed, leaving the choices of what they did or didn't do in their hands and everyone knew this. It had taken Dorian a long time to come to the realization that the qunari never asked for anything purely for himself inside the bedroom. Oh sure there were common acts, a hand or a mouth. Suggestions of silk ties and smooth ropes but all these were things done to his partner and not himself.

 

That's when he started watching.

 

He watched The Iron Bull train with the Chargers, with the Inquisitions soldiers, with Cullen and Cassandra and the Inquisitor. He watched when they were on away missions, when they were in the tavern and he watched from his high window in what passed for a library but still the answer seemed just out of reach. Like a word that you can almost recall, it's on the tip of your tongue and if you could just get the smallest tiniest _hint_ then you'd have it. It was while watching from that high window that he was gifted that tiny hint.

 

“Have to be careful, always be careful. So small, they are all so small. Bones so fragile. I could hurt so easy. Hurt them, break them, blood and bone and sinew beneath my rough hands. Not here, I can't here. It's to good, can't lose it. I can be gentle, they trust me. He trusts me, trusts me to be gentle and safe. I can control myself and it'll be good so good.”

 

He'd gotten good at covering any outward reaction but his heart still skipped a few beats and lodged itself in behind his tonsils at Cole's sudden voice and he turned to look at the gaunt spirit in flickering candlelight. “What are you going on about now Cole?” Dorian asked, trying and failing to figure out who the spirit was reading. Not he for sure, he may be in the prime of health but he was a mage. No bone crushing under hands here.

 

“That's what he thinks, it's what you were searching for wasn't it? I can't help that hurt. It's to big for me but you. You are much....bigger then I am. Not out here but in here. For him.” Cole explained, gesturing to his chest and Dorian spent a long moment staring at him before the proverbial veilfire flickered to life in his head.

 

“Bull. You're talking about The Iron Bull, aren't you? He's...afraid to hurt me? Or that he will hurt me?” He asked as he turned to face Cole fully and came forwards a few steps so their voices could be a bit quieter, The illusion of privacy even though the tower was dimly lit and mostly quiet at this time of night. “I can see how he would worry about that but how is it what I've been searching for?” He really wished Cole would manage full sentences because sometimes he swore Cole was saying important things but he just did not understand a single word.

 

Cole seemed just as lost for a moment, chewing at his lip before he tried again. “He never asks, never takes. Always gives. Gives and gives and gives. How does he have so much to give? It never runs out. How do I give back if he never takes? He must want something, everyone wants something. I want to give it to him. Make him smile, make him happy. Happy like he makes me.” Cole stared at Dorian's slightly pale face, eyes unblinking for a moment before starting up again as if he just remembered it was something he was supposed to do.

 

It was even more unnerving that way and Dorian took to pacing as he picked apart broken sentences and half finished words. That was him, he knew that but how did the two go together? Speaking with Cole was like trying to do a puzzle from the middle out and the entire damn thing was black. What did The Iron Bull's fear have to do with his own...wants?

 

“The hurt. It's what you've been searching for. Why you watch him so much. It's big and there, like The Iron Bull. I can't make the fear go away but you can. You can help the hurt where I am to small to carry it.” Cole said with a nod, watching Dorian pacing silently.

 

 

“The hurt is what I've been...searching for? I haven’t been searching for a hurt...I've been searching for a.. _venhedis!”_ He breathed, eyes widening slightly as he spun to face Cole again. “That's **it** , isn't it? That's what he wants. Or rather..what he doesn't want!” He exclaimed with a sharp toothed grin before he came over to clap his hands to the spirit's shoulders. “You brilliant thing! That _is_ what I was searching for!” He praised.

 

Cole gave an unsure smile at that. “Yes? He..wants what he doesn't want. ...I think.” He replied slowly before tilting his head like the puppy Varric claimed he resembled. “Did I help?” He asked hopefully. “The hurt is very old. I didn't see all of it but you are big enough inside to hold it I think.” He added.

 

There was a part of Dorian that always doubted. Doubted he could make a difference, doubted he was doing the right thing by being here. Even doubted The Iron Bull, despite the open affection and quiet feelings between the two but it was hard to doubt when Cole spoke so openly and he just squeezed his shoulders gently. “Yes Cole, yes you helped greatly and I know how to help that hurt. I don't know if I can make it go away but I think I can make it...less.” He said with a nod.

 

“Some hurts can't go away. They are..too big and too old. They are too alive to be taken away so you have to live with them. That's what Varric said.” Cole said before vanishing between one blink and the next, leaving Dorian a tad lost with his hands in the air before just chuckling. That was Cole, here and then gone but he had his hint and that was all he needed. Already he was starting to plan, to plot. Returning to his seat in his nook, he looked out the window while stroking his mustache thoughtfully. It would take time to prepare, both in ensuring they were free and in planning but if Iron Bull's fear was accidentally hurting him and his 'hurt' was the high level of self-contained control over himself. Then perhaps doing as Cole referenced and carrying that for a time was just what was needed? He could not even pretend not to be interested in that.

 

Licking his lips, he wondered if The Iron Bull would look better in red roping or white.

 


	2. Red or Black

It was on a very convenient trip to Orlais that Dorian found just what he needed. Val Royeaux may have been a cesspool, but it was a cesspool that met his needs. It was easy to fit in a little extra shopping when he was collecting his usual necessities. He knew just the shop as well, courtesy of some drunken gossip he’d overheard from some of the templars that did  _ not  _ know what indoor voices were. 

 

Nevertheless, he found his way there with relative ease. Once he knew what he was looking for, it was laughable to think they could act as if they were anything but what they were. Oils and creams and lotions and other lushious items lined the shelves and he was very much planning on browsing through those afterwards. For now however, he had a few particulars he needed to find. 

 

Most were easy. Oils and some carefully chosen scented candles were crossed off the list right away, but what he was stumped on was the last piece. They weren’t quite long enough but he could work with it but...which color? Red? Black? Both would look lovely against grey skin so how did he ever choose? He held a piece of each, thumbs rubbing the carefully treated coils that wouldn’t fray or rub raw until the shopkeep approached him. 

 

He took a deep breath, ready to have to charm his way out of being requested to leave, it had happened before after all but the older women did not even bat an eye. “Having a mite of trouble there?” She asked, crows feet wrinkling at the corners of her eyes as she smiled up at him. 

 

“Only a mite.” Dorian replied, turning to face her with a carefully rueful smile. “How ever do you decide a color?” They shared a small laugh before she hummed thoughtfully. 

 

“That would depend, I would say red if it is for you.” she suggested, turning his bare arm over to show the red against his dark skin. “Such rich color suits you.” she said with a nod of satisfaction.

 

“But of course it does, but it is not for me. It’s for..a different skin.” He said, hesitating a moment before letting her quirked eyebrow pull him in. “Grey.” he offered, clearing his throat slightly as both her eyebrows rose before she grinned impishly.

 

“Daring! I know just the thing.” He followed her crooked finger, taking his items up to the counter as she went around to fish behind it. She pulled out a length to show him and Dorian could not resist a soft coo as he picked it up. 

 

“ _ Perfect _ ”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Getting the items proved to be the easiest part. Even keeping it a secret from a trained Ben-Hassrath was easier than finding a good time. He would need the entire night for starters, he was not about to rush something this important! He required enough time and assured privacy but most importantly? He had to get Bull in the right mood. But how to do that without giving away the game? He knew what Bull wanted, what they both wanted, but it did not seem to fall into place as smoothly as he’d hoped. In the end, it was the rather unlikely aid from Krem that pulled the last few strings. 

 

Dorian had been mulling over a drink in the tavern, perhaps a bit too early to be ‘respectively’ drinking but when had that ever stopped him? Krem plopping down beside him was a surprise, and he raised an eyebrow at him before following it with his drink. “A good afternoon to you.” Was his tone just a smidge wary? He supposed it would not be taken amiss, they were not...friends, he and Krem. They mostly tolerated each other for Bull’s sake. 

 

“If you have some sort of plan, just do it.” Blunt and to the point as ever, it left Dorian blinking in surprise as he tried to catch up but Krem just talked over him. “You’re making the Boss twitchy as Hell and that means he runs us into the ground during training. Whatever thing you’re hiding, just do it.” 

 

“I..well…” Taking a moment to collect himself under the guise of smoothing out his mustache, Dorian just sighed heavily. “That obvious am I?” He asked with a mirthless puff of laughter. “Well nevermind that, it isn’t as if I can just spring it Aclassi. There is a time and place for everything and I have merely not found the time for it.” he said with a firm nod.

 

“Bullshit, you’re stalling.” came the reply as Krem promptly stole his swill and downed half of it in one go before pinning a somewhat flabbergasted Dorian with a look. “We both know neither of you have anything better to do until the Inquisitor gets back and that’s not for a few weeks yet. I never figured you for a coward, Pavus.” 

 

Bristling, Dorian straightened in his chair. “I  _ beg _ your pardon? It is hardly cowardice to not run in without a single thought in your head, or has slamming yourself against a shield repeatedly knocked all sense out of you?” There we go, back in control of things. Taking his drink back, he finished it before Krem could steal it again. “I’ll not ruin things out of impatience.” He added imperiously

 

Krem just scoffed, waving a hand in the air to wave away his protests. “It’s been  _ ages _ now and the boys are afraid for their life, or at least bones.” he replied before poking a finger at Dorian’s shoulder. “What do you need for whatever blood ritual you’re planning?”

 

Anyone else, it would have been offensive but these little jokes between the two of them were..nice. “Only the common things obviously.” he replied, counting them off on his fingers. “A chalice of virgin blood, a free night, no less than five slaves and a goat.” 

 

That got a grin, Krem snickering under his breath. “I can get you a free night and substitute the goat for a Bull but you’ll have to find replacements for the rest.” He quipped, looking forwards to not walking around as one giant aching bruise. 

 

“Hmm hmm well I suppose if it’s a big enough bull, it could count as five people.” Drawled Dorian, pulling his face into a mimicry of a sneering magister. “You sure you can not donate the last ingredient?” he asked, leaning back to avoid Krem’s swat and laughed. 

 

“Day after tomorrow sound good, asshole?” Krem asked as he stood, not really waiting for an answer as he took his leave. This left Dorian in a bit of a tizzy. He hadn’t really expected aid from Aclassi of all people, but there it was! Two days. Time to start charming over the Cook to get a little something special for just the two of them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was going to be a three parter but things got long so I had to split it up

Being invited to a private dinner wasn't uncommon. it was something they did now, every now and then. When they didn't want to deal with the outside world being distracting and he knew the mage was still nervous about showing affection in public. Some scars were too deep to be seen or healed except with time. So it wasn't the dinner that made him a bit wary but rather the fact that he'd been  _ planning _ something for days now, closer to a week maybe. Perhaps two, it was hard to tell when Dorian was  _ plotting _ and when he was struggling with something that was holding him back. It made him a little secretive for a few days till Bull could pull him out of it.

 

Krem had told him he didn't want to see him until after late lunch the next day. With a shit-eating grin no less. Far be it for him to not take a hint when it was accompanied by the sight of Dorian striding towards him purposefully and damn could he  _ stride _ . Distracting striding aside, Bull shot his lieutenant a raised eyebrow because he knew the two didn’t really get along. Well that wasn't true, they were not  _ friends _ at  least but Krem working with an Altus? Not exactly common. "What are you plotting?" He asked Krem's retreating back, getting no answer not that he was really expecting one.

 

Turning his attention back to Dorian, he leaned on the fence surrounding the ring to watch appreciatively. The man knew how to strut and those pants were deliciously tight over thighs that felt great around his ears. Pulling himself from those thoughts and filing them away for  _ later,  _ he grinned as Dorian reached him. "I've been ordered not to come back till after late lunch, you got anything to do with that?" he asked, not reaching out just yet. he wasn't sure if touch was welcome today, some days it took Dorian a little bit to feel comfortable with it. Bull didn't mind, just meant more touching in private.

 

"Tsk, way to ruin the surprize." Dorian drawled, full lips pulled in a smile despite his tone. "But yes, you are mine until then. If you are agreeable?" He asked, head tilting just slightly as he waited. Always an out, coached and presented as something other than wary nerves that still expected things to end suddenly. He was getting better at smothering that little voice, the look in Iron Bull's face right now doing wonders to help.

 

"Oh I'm more than agreeable. Dinner first?" He asked with an exaggerated 'wink' that never failed to get either a quiet huff of laughter or fond rolling of eyes. It got both this time.

 

"Yes yes you glutton, in my quarters. Come along then." Dorian turned, taking a few steps before waiting for Bull to catch up and just  _ happened _ to stand in a way that propped a hip out in the most distracting manner.

 

"I'll need to bathe first." Bull said, climbing over the fence easily and coming to stand beside his mage, gesturing to the dust that coated his one arm. Courtesy of taking charge after charge from his Chargers. He held back a shiver with warm fingers, always so much warmer than he expected must be magic, trailed through a line.

 

"mm...filthy. I've already thought of that, don't worry your little head about it." Dorian replied with a practically impish smile that  _ did things _ to him. He hadn't seen Dorian this excited in...well ever actually. Not like this. Fairly vibrating with energy and damn if it wasn't attractive.

 

"Huh, alright. I'm all yours then." He replied with a shrug, drawn to that energy in a way that had him swallowing hard. Especially when that impish look turned just a hint...heady and Dorian practically purred back at him.

 

" _ oh yes, you are _ ."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Everything was going just as he planned. He'd let Bull have enough time to get into training and thus be dirty before he'd come to collect him. He already had an honestly massive tub ready in his room with water he could easily reheat. Promising some of the new mages lessons in exchange for hauling the water had been an easy thing. He'd have done it if they'd asked, not that he would mention that of course. It was a lot of water to haul after all. Nevertheless the tub sat against one wall in his room, opposite of any books that might be splashed.

 

Peering over Dorian's head, Bull took in the tub with a small sound of surprize before sniffing the air. "is that cocoa?" How had Dorian gotten his hands on that? Bull let himself be tugged inside, the door locked behind him before he reached for the straps of his armor only to have his hands swatted away.    
  
"No no, let me. You aren't to do anything." He urged, voice low as he worked on the buckles and straps, setting each piece to the side carefully before moving to the next. Clever fingers stroked over broad shoulders and strong arms, feeling the spots where the muscles protested and made a note of each. Only when Bull was naked did he take his hand. "How warm do you want it?" he asked, knowing that he prefered the water much hotter than Bull did. It was an easy thing to warm the water when one was a mage after all.

 

Situating Bull in the tub, he stripped his shirt off but left his pants, sitting on a stool beside the tub and smiling at his confusion. "Just relax." He urged, picking up a cloth to start cleaning off the dust and sweat. The food he had was simple things, finger food really which was perfect for feeding Bull bites between cleaning him. If he had to reheat the water twice well, who was counting?

 

Bull was confused, normally Dorian got into the tub but he was not even naked. It didn't take long for him to relax however, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes. Dorian began to hum softly and Bull found himself drifting. He moved when Dorian wanted him to. Limbs and torso shifting as the cloth rubbed away until he was clean to Dorian's standards. Even when he stood to be dried off, he felt warm and fuzzy. When had he been taken care of like this? It was nice.

 

Dorian guided him out of the tub, a soft towel rubbing most of the water away before it was draped over a chair. "Come now, sit." The bed creaked only a little under Bull's weight, a common sound that was ignored. Next up was lotion. Picked specifically for his skin. A faint scent, nothing to overwhelming.

 

Bull watched as Dorian started to rub it into his hands, the lotion cool after the warmth of the tub. Hands and forearms, up to broad shoulders and down his chest. If Qunari could purr, he would be. Afterwards, he was laid out in the bed, head carefully braced by pillows so his horns didn't hit anything.

 

Hands, sore from holding weapons and shields, were rubbed and moved until the stiffness was gone. Same with his feet, sure thumbs pressing at the arches until Bull groaned. Agile fingers, laced with heat, pressed against his ankle and knee to chase away the pain. Dorian's hands swept up his thighs, digging into the muscle but bypassed his cock entirely much to his surprize. They instead worked on his chest where the muscles were so often held tight. He was practically boneless by the time Dorian urged him to roll so he could get his back.

 

"M'gunna fall asleep you keep this up." Bull rumbled into the pillows as he rolled over nonetheless, feeling Dorian straddle his waist to reach properly. He felt great, soft and warm and...loved. He knew Dorian cared, what they had was something...special. Unique and he'd never doubted that affection but he'd also never been subject to it like this. So much that he felt like he were drowning in it. What a way to go.

 

Lips pressed between his shoulder blades before Dorian answered. "Then rest, I will wake you when I'm finished." He knew Bull would not fully pass out, doze most likely which was perfectly fine. It left him ample time to work on the lovely broad expanse of flesh before him, pressing warm sucking kisses to his neck and shoulders as he wrestled the knots and twists in Bull's back into submission.

 

It was only when he sure he'd done his best that he squirmed up to lay flat across his back and reach his ear. "Buu~uull.." Dorian called out, watching the ear do a faint little twitch before he got a low hum in response. "I'd like to do something...different. Do you trust me?"

 

How could he say no to that? Of course he trusted Dorian, with more than just his life. "Course..anything." He responded, letting warm hands roll him over and reaching to pull Dorian up for a slow kiss. "Feel so good right now." he mumbled between soft almost chaste kisses, Dorian's mustache tickling when he smiled into the kiss.

 

"How trusting." Dorian sat back slowly, hands rubbing the broad chest under him before he slid off to go fetch what he'd bought. "Now, you can say no to either of these parts of course. Firstly, I'd rather like to take you tonight." He started, setting the box down at the edge of the bed and pulling out a new bottle of oil. "Secondly..I'd like you to be...mine." He said, pulling the long length of rope out and showing it off. " _ Fully mine _ ."

 

Bull stared at the rope for a moment, reaching out to feel it. Expensive, not a last minute decision. This is what he'd been planning then? A glance at Dorian's face and he was good at hiding his emotions but Bull spent his entire life reading people. He was nervous, a little worried and hopeful. All wrapped into a beautiful man that put so much thought into this. "Yeah." he said, voice cracking just a little and he swallowed hard while staring at the white rope. "Yeah, all yours big guy."

 


End file.
